Bathroom time!

Ok so why in the world are situations that arise in the bathroom so precarious. It never fails. I spot an opportunity to make a break for the facilities, scope out the optimum stall and go about my business. As soon as I am ready to "drop the kids off at the pool" here comes a flock of ladies ready to either reapply lipstick, use the restroom or wash their hands. So you hold it, waiting for the right time to go about your duties. This right time could be a strategic flush of the toilet, however this can back fire if the flush wasnt at a decibel to camouflage the sound, or when everyone has left the bathroom. This leds me to the next problem...when there is another person waiting to do the same thing you are. This is also known as a bowl battle. Who will drop the bomb first or who will admit defeat, pull up their pants and exit the bathroom first? So I say unto my fellow females...cant we all just pass gas, explode the toilet and proudly exit the bathroom stall with our heads held high. Can we stop being judged so harshly when we have flatulence during our God given right to poop? I will suffer in silence no more...poop or get off the pot!